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Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard I try.  Walls stand tall in my path and the strongest, most terrifying machinations wont be able to break through them.   This is when I make myself tricky.  Can’t jump over?  Dig under.  Can’t do that?  Walk the long distance to the edge and go around.  Today I’m heading in that direction.

 I’m working on a new book and trying to finish up the fine details of my previous one to get it ready for publication.  This of course is much, much trickier than I am.  I didn’t expect some of these challenges that inserted themselves into the open spaces between bricks in the wall, but I guess if I did the wall wouldn’t be there in the first place.  

(I just saved this file)

I want to scream at the sky…

“It’s Not Fair!”

or

“Why me?”

or just a plain and simple non-question…

“Fuck!”

Obviously, nobody’s going to answer.  It does feel good to vent sometimes though.  

(I just saved this file)

I have all of my files stored not only on my computer’s main drive, but I have them backed up too.  See, I learned my lesson the hard way in the past.  My old computer crashed with my entire life’s work on it. Erased.  Disappeared into the digital cemetery of dead rom.  Gigabytes of effort no longer accessible.  Music, photographs, movies, recordings, book ideas, chapters, my kids school projects and the extemporaneous detritus of every day life.  Everything was gone.  

I’m surprised you all didn’t hear the streams of profanity shooting out my window and across the stratosphere.

Since then I have accumulated several external drives that I use to store everything.  Duplicate after redundant duplicates.  Whenever I work on a project, I try to save it every few minutes to make sure it’s safely protected from a crash or a power surge or a techno-gremlin hiding inside my little Mac waiting to strike me down.  When I’ve finished working on a particular project for the day, I copy the entire file on to my external hard drives and there it will sit like my own private safety deposit box.

(I just saved this file)

Lately my computer has started freezing.  After an hour or so working, it sticks.  I can’t move my mouse arrow, type or manipulate anything in any way.  I can let it sit in this state for a while hoping (more often in vain than not) that it will unclench itself and let me move on with my work.   Or I can press the button on my power strip and restart everything from scratch holding my breath that I haven’t lost any of my last bit of work.  Either way, it doesn’t matter.  By the time it all gets sorted out, I’ve lost my creative flow.  Writus-interruptus.   

In addition, my computer has decided that it no longer wants to recognize the external hard drives.  I guess that had an argument over who can store my data more securely.  If I still had hair, I’d be bald from pulling it out.   

(I just saved this file)

This all brings to mind a scene from a movie where three men take a ride out to a deserted field in their car and then viciously take baseball bats and crowbars to a copy machine.  Maybe I should start a business that let’s people do that.  I’ll buy a field, tons of outdated computers, copiers and fax machines.  Then I’ll charge frustrated office workers $25 to come in and go ape shit all over the place for fifteen minutes.  It might just be my ticket. 

(I just saved this file

(I just saved this file)

 
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About alexkimmell

i write. sometimes with words. sometimes with sounds. visit me at alexkimmell.weebly.com the novel "the Key to everything" now available on amazon, b&n, iTunes

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