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I don’t understand. No matter how much this James Holmes person explains why he did what he did, I will not understand it. If he turns out to be an abused child who got picked on in school every day? Yes I will feel terrible for him, but I will still not understand. The purity of his selfishness. Thinking that taking other people’s lives will somehow make him feel better? I do not understand. My brain is just not capable.

We know that there is Evil in the world. We see it every single day. War, murder, rape, molestation, torture… Evil is a reality there is no escape from. Evil does not care what God you believe in or if you have no faith at all. Evil has no opinion on quantity or quality of life. The most terrifying part is that Evil is not random.

Evil makes plans. Evil is methodical in it’s execution. Every single detail is microscopically focused and tweaked to perfection.

Unfortunately we in America are only too recently growing accustomed to Evil’s tendrils creeping into our daily lives. Working in tall office buildings we twinge whenever an airplane passes by. We duck into subway trains with voices in the back of our minds hoping that it will not be the last time we see the sun. We send our children to school trusting that other parents love and nurture their own offspring enough to teach them to do no harm. And now we go to the movies to escape our troubles and we will find ourselves searching the dark corners of that same auditorium for the boogeyman.

I love scary stories. I read them and watch them as often as I can. They provide a certain adrenaline rush that I can’t seem to find anywhere else in life. I guess you could say I’m an addict. So much so, that the words I string together are an attempt at bringing that same feeling to anyone who reads them.

My wife loves to read true crime stories. Books about real crimes and serial killers and things like that. I can’t go there. It’s too much for me. I prefer to escape into terrors that I know deep down inside are too fantastical to really happen. Monsters and ghosts and unexplained phenomena. I can take that kind of scary. I’ll take my nightmares from the page or screen and not the real world thank you very much.

Things like what just happened in Colorado are unexplainable to me. They make me sit on the couch sucking my thumb, rocking back and forth making sure my kids are not out of eyesight. How do people think it’s acceptable to do that? Too many questions. Too many tears. Not enough answers.

As a species humans have always been violent. We are animals. Hard as our ego may struggle against that thought, our DNA is only a few strands away from the jellyfish and the cockroach and the cobra. The difference is that unlike that hooded snake, we have enough foresight to plan our strikes instead of merely falling back on instinct.

This post may be coming too soon for some people, and I understand that. If it offends or upsets I apologize. As someone who is trying to make a living by frightening people, the events of last night are what truly and deeply terrify me. I hope you hold your loved one’s close and help make the world a safer place today. My heart and thoughts go out to the victims and their families.

Peace and love sounds corny these days, but those are the two things our lives need more of. Now more than ever.


About alexkimmell

i write. sometimes with words. sometimes with sounds. visit me at the novel "the Key to everything" now available on amazon, b&n, iTunes

One response to “darkness

  1. hleannnelson ⋅

    Thank you for expressing what I was thinking. But way more succinctly.

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