Well I did the wrong thing this morning. While I was eating my raisin bran crunch I went online and searched for more info about Zombie Bees. Now I’m all freaked out. It’s a real thing! What the fuck man?
In 2008 some beekeeper guy in California noticed his colony were flying around all herky jerky and flopping around on the floor. When they died he collected a few of them in a plastic bag and guess what? Yup. Itsy bitsy baby fly maggots were crawling around inside their bodies eating them from the inside out…and the crowd goes “ewww!”
Scientists say the parasitic mommy fly attaches itself to the back of the bee (don’t ask me how) and injects its eggs. When they hatch the maggots eat their way from the inside out while the thing is still alive. Then they pupate into a hard shell around the body making it look like a fat piece of brown rice. A few weeks later, happy birthday killer zombification causing flies!
I’m gonna go barf up some fiber now and then get the fly swatter I think we put in the basement.
Tonight was Back To School Night! We got to go and meet the teachers and see all the other parents who still think we’re the Crazy L.A. Family. Admittedly, we kind of are. But I aint changing for nobody I tells ya!
It’s such a beautiful school. There’s only one small building surrounded by trees out in the middle of the forest. So much fresh air I thought I might pass out. Everything is lush and full now especially with the rain we’ve been having the last few days. The autumn leaves are changing colors so fast. If I didn’t see it with my own eyes I would have thought these colors couldn’t exist in nature.
They held their “big” meeting in the auditorium with all us parents to talk about their ambitious plans for the new school year. The man sitting in front of me raised his hand to ask a question, but when time the Principal called on him his voice sounded garbled and intelligible. His head jerked at strange angles and he looked pretty pale.
I tapped him on the shoulder to see if he was okay but he recoiled away as if I punched him. I got a few unsettling stares from some of the other parents in the room. Not sure what I did wrong, I just stared back at them quizzically. Our friends sitting next to us told me to ignore them and not to worry about it.
When the meeting ended, we walked out of the auditorium and turned down the hallway toward my older son’s classroom. I glanced out the large window of the lobby as we passed by and saw the “jerky” man being helped into the passenger seat of a brown pick-up by who I assumed was his wife and three other parents. As they drove off I noticed a small cloud of black dots following down the road.
There is something strange about being in school when it’s dark outside. Even after all these years I still feel a familiar fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Never seems to go away. We walked to the car together in the cool air. I waved my hand at the flies swirling around my head. I had to wipe the gook from the end of my cane when I got in the car. Looking back toward the school I noticed small rice shaped stones along the pathway. Some of them crunched under the weight of our feet and indented with the same circular pattern of the rubber end tip of my cane.
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